As a small diversion from all the serious news about the economy and general doom and gloom we here at MTI have put together a list of the top 10 ugliest cars ever to grace(?) our roads. Hey it’s our list so if your car’s not on it then let us know (or if your car is on it and you feel outraged!).
(Ugly or “ugliness” is a property of a person or thing that is unpleasant to look upon and results in a highly unfavorable evaluation.)
So without further ado we present to you the MTI ugly car top 10….
10.
Nissan Primera
Whatever era, whatever age, whatever colour whatever price whatever specification, its just wrong on every level. Only illegal mini cab drivers own these cars and lets face it if you were drunk enough to get in one of them you would be pretty relieved when you were dropped off 3 miles from your intended destination, if only for the shame it would save you.
09.
Ford Ka
Very popular and practical but so is Mary Poppins, but seriously if you have ever owned and driven one (unless you were a 17 year old girl) would you ever admit to it? Also it may have a stupid name but it might also be the best thing about it.
08.
Renault Espace
One of the first MPV’s, a family car, Fred West’s family car. Plenty of space but looks like an interbreed. The idiot who designed this was obviously so excited about producing a family car he forgot to actually finish it and left it looking like a square box with wheels.
07.
Citroën Berlingo
Just look at it, what were they thinking? You see this car on rainy Sunday November afternoons, parked up on the Eastbourne seafront with misted up windows and 2 middle aged train-spotters eating marmite sandwiches from tin foil and drinking weak tea from tartan flasks, pretending that they actually still like each other, having driven 200 miles and not even stepped out of the car. You don’t fool me, you look like your car, sad!
06.
VW Vento
Apparently Spanish for wind or something similar which ironically is what it makes you feel like breaking in its general direction. A car with a massive boot on the same floor plan as the Golf but which in reality is just a kind of geeky, lanky awkward kid brother who should stay indoors and not frighten the neighbours.
05.
Fiat 500
The only car which could possibly draw such comments as ‘you look pretty stupid in your car mate’ whilst you’re sitting at some traffic lights (it actually happened to a friend of mine who should have known better than get behind the wheel of this silly toy car). Small pointless and basically thrown together, an example of lazy Italian design and build. Hailed by some as a design classic, they’re wrong.
04.
Citroën Xantia
Not only ugly but incredibly annoying. Having to wait while it jacks itself up and makes a spectacle of itself is only drawing attention to it and its sheer uselessness. The only positive is that it was so cheap second hand that if you were really desperate you would at least be able to get a car for the same price as a mountain bike.
03.
Ford probe
God what an awful car. This is the “spotty teenager who never goes out” example of a pathetic attempt at a sports coupe. Basically anyone buying this car does so either for a laugh or in the hope that things surely can’t get much worse.
02.
Skoda Roomster
Quite simply an abomination. Please, all the good work Skoda has done in re-building the ‘wouldn’t be seen dead in that’ dark pre -VW days has been shattered by this hideous creation. In any case, you can’t be seen dead in it because although it looks like a hearse that’s been rear ended, you won’t fit.
01.
Fiat Multipla
If you need to ask why then you haven’t seen it. To say it looks like a frog would insult all frogs around the world. Anyone driving or even riding in, let alone buying this car just doesn’t care anymore!
Special mention goes to the following cars which, while still hideous settled justoutside the top 10; (thanks to Serman)
Ssangyong Rodius
“The luxury and sophistication of a saloon, combined with the versatility and spaciousness you’d expect from a large people carrier”, according to the company blurb. They can’t be serious? Oh, and if you thought that the Rodius wasn’t enough to make you gag, they’ve even gone as far as offering a special edition. I kid you not: The Rodius S (great acronym) comes with leather seats and alloy wheels. Mine’s in black, please.
Mini Clubman
The utterly pointless and unpractical rear ‘barn’ doors and totally unforgiving looks make it the ugliest Mini to date. How many pointless novelties can BMW come up with?
New Renault Laguna Hatchback
There’s not a straight bodyline in sight making the Lagunas profile all wonky. And having played around with Renaults ‘build your own Laguna’ on thier website, a reasonably specified Dynamique 150 will set you back £21,000. That makes it an even more bitter pill to swallow. Now, where’s my snails in garlic sauce?
2009 Nissan Murano
What’s going on with that front end? Just damn ugly. Enough said.
Renault Fuego
What on earth were Renault thinking. Hatch back, coupe and supposed sports car all rolled into one? And what a name. Still, it represented the 80’s with perfect automotive fashion: Big Hair, huge shoulder pads and a desire to inflict every car design with a futuristic look that never took off. Great.
Fiat 128
If you ask a 5 year old to draw a car the chances of them mimicking the Fiat 128 will be uncanny. How is was voted Car Of The Year 1970 still remains a complete mystery.
Ford Scorpio
In 1994 Ford launched the Scorpio. Soon after, the Scorpio’s chief dseigner was sacked and has never been seen again. It only grabbed the headlines for two reasons: one, the totally unforgiving design, and two, the Cosworth powered V6. Just when we thought this abomination was dead and buried, the Ford Scorpio Owners Club forum is still keeping the damn thing alive.