All the usual war stories at the annual veteran motor traders curry night

The recent annual curry night for motor trade veterans (from a certain era) went down a storm and, as usual, the wine and the banter were flowing in equal measures. Naturally we all had our say on the state of the nation whilst at the same time brushing off a few of the old stories that have been told many times before. These stories still raise a laugh and remind us of the fact that “back in the day” you could get away with almost anything if you were good at selling cars and making money.

Tempting as it always is to name names – and let’s face it it’s not done to protect the innocent – its more to with the fact that we like the players involved to know it’s them without giving them the oxygen of publicity as their huge motor trade egos, already fit to burst, probably couldn’t take the added pressure.

On this occasion we were discussing the best (and worse) customers we had ever encountered when we remembered “Charlton” and the time he sold a car to a rather glamorous middle aged lady who was perhaps being neglected at home and was therefore revelling somewhat in all the attention being shown to her.

The deal seemed to take weeks and several visits to complete and finally, when Charlton walked in to the showroom having been off sick for a few days, we saw why.

He was sporting several cuts and bruises and had the sheepish look of someone who’d clearly been up to absolutely no good at all.

Apparently the lady being, how can I put this, somewhat “adventurous” in the bedroom department had convinced Charlton that it would be a good idea for him to be chained up to the radiator naked whilst she performed an intimate act upon his person. Unfortunately while our “hero” and his new friend were enjoying themselves the customers husband came crashing through the door and, well, you can guess the rest.

Needless to say Charlton still bears the scars but laughs along with the rest of us when the story is recounted for the umpteenth time. Of course the lady is far more beautiful, the husband more angry and there is always way more profit in the deal than anyone else remembers!